A Date. A simple concept, right? but is it? cuz I`m confused!
When you speak to most people, especially those 40+, they will tell you that these days the whole concept of `dating` has become too casual and courtship has been replaced by just `hanging out`. Personally, I like casual, and if I want to go out and have drinks with someone, I do consider it a `date` (but evidently, I might be the only one). Where does society draw that blurred line from simply kicking it vs. an ACTUAL date?
In the past week, I`ve set out to find the modern definition of a true date. And the answers have been nothing short of hilarious. I`ve gotten descriptions of the perfect first date: high class restaurants, how a girls nails should be done, and the type of pearls and perfume she is to wear. Some people define a date as a night involving awkwardness, or butterflies, or sweaty palms... while others think that it`s not a date unless someone makes a `move` (which we could go on a sub-rant about - what is a move? holding hands. touching of the knee, licking each others fingers?)In my opinion, any time you hang out with another person, just the two of you, it is a date. The reason being that there will most likely be: 1.some personal conversation involved 2.obviously you are attracted to something about them, or else you wouldn`t be spending time with them 3.there is ALWAYS a potential for something more. But after many days and many sub-discussions (example: -friend- a date is two people spending time to get know each other with the intention of potentially getting romantically involved. -me- isn`t there always potential? -friend- I`m married -me-regardless, I could potentially throw myself at you at any given moment, that`s a risk you`re taking by kicking it w me) I`ve figured out what the disconnect was. You see, I think the courtship leading up to the `am I sexually attracted to this person` are considered dates. As opposed to the rest of society, which seems to assume that the first move has already been made when people are out on dates. But I mean, that first move (see sub-rant above), that`s the best part - and I like to save it for date 8.
How this all came about: (the backstory) I hung out w a person of the opposite sex the other day (a co-worker, after a super stressful work day, if you must know the details). The jist: we had a few drinks at a couple bars. The following week at work, while shooting the shit, I say `yeah, buddy and I were discussing blah work blah Friday night on our date, it was super romantic (insert sarcasm here)` to which my boss asks `well, was it an ACTUAL date`. This is the naturally response; the need for work gossip to get us through the mundane existence in our 50 hour work weeks... And though the question could have been fore casted, my lack of applicable response came across as a very loud ARE YOU ASKING ME IF WE MADE OUT!?! And therefore a weeks worth of interrogations began.
Everyone I`ve ranted to hears me out in my attempts to convince them that EVERYTHING is a date, and at the end they simply state `you`re wrong` without providing a more applicable definition. I think you should be able to date without the expectation of a hickey or sexting at the end of the night, and I will wear sweat pants proudly on dates, if I so choose. And though I think I part-take in a number of dates, I don`t think I am ever dating, which is where shit gets really confusing.
