In Everyone's Belly Button, is a Little Bit of Cum

Now, how this statement came about, is really irrelevant. BUT while sailing on a catamaran for two weeks, with a lot of time to lounge around and soak up the sun, and have random thoughts running through my head, I realized, that I believe that statement to be 95% true.

I mean, "everyone" might be a bit of an exaggeration. There's exceptions to that: celibate people, those who just don't like sex, the really young/old extremes may have a less likely chance of it - but still not excluded... lesbians? them I'm not sure about, but anyway, pretty much everyone.

AND I'm not talking about massive amounts. I'm gonna assume the average joe who has the average amount of sex, has still got some. Not a noticeable amount, but if you CSI DNA swabbed that shit, 95%. Yup! it'd be present. True story.

And I welcome ALL arguments. Please prove me wrong! Tell me why you disagree. But I really doubt it. That's right people. It's all about equality. We're all in this together. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Let's just embrace it.

I saw a female comedian at a festival once. She started off her set by looking around at all the girls and simply saying "Ladies, let's just think bout something for a second.... We put penises in our mouths" ... .... ... .... ... .... ... .... ... .... Then She was silent. That all she needed to say, and the girls just looked from one another, acknowledging that statement in silent affirmation.

And that's what I want you to do now, friends. Just think about it, for a second... ... .... .... ..... ... .... ... .... ... ..... In everyone's bellybutton, is a little bit of cum. Am i wrong?

Why Don't You Just Settle Down?

I read something the other day captioned "Don't Settle, Do What's Right For You". Without even realizing it, those word got to me. Hours later, I was thinking about this word: SETTLE. Let's discuss.

Ever since the early stages of life, this word has had a negative connotation. "Settle Down". "Calm Down". Seriously! If it wasn't for your parents, it was your teachers. And what did they really mean? It wasn't encouragement for you to continue what you were doing. Singling, dancing, socializing with your friends, having fun! It was a demand! At conforming! Sit down. Shut up. Listen up. "I am 'the man', and you will obey me".

Fastforward to teenage and adult life. You start dating, you always go after the jerks, you want to belong, but you get treated like shit. And the advice you get? "He wasn't good enough for you! Don't settle for that!" I'd like to believe that's the reason I've mainly been single. That no ones managed to impress me enough to give them a chance. But that's probably not it. Do I settle? Maybe,

But now, haha, welcome to your 30's! And the questions crushing your spirits: "Why haven't you settled down yet?". "You should get a career, and settle down". I just want to yell at these people. Because I'm a rebel and I do what I want! I won't do it. I won't have a house and 2.5 kids - 'because that's what a well behaved girl my age should do'. I'm gonna wait, for that head over heels love to find me instead of settling for mediocrity. And how 'bout I continue living my life in the mean time? If that means singing, dancing, traveling, and being naked while I do it, then cheers!

So when you talk so fondly of having "settled down" please excuse me that I don't have those warm gushy feelings exploding from me. It's never been a positive before!

I Just Want You To Love Me

Relationships.
What a complicated concept! (I truly think this, but really wish they were simple). Can two people actually want the exact same things? Isn't one person always going to fall harder than the other? Is there a way to just be happy without the addition of jealousy or insecurity or resentment?

I recently read a book in which the author talked about the "perfect relationship". She describes the actions and emotions you go through when you first start dating someone. When you are "pretending to be the person your partner wants you to be". Let's stop there for a second and think about this. It is true. At the beginning, you are pretending to be the person they want you to be.

When I like someone, I fall into the category of being the "cool girl". I never get jealous, I encourage him to spend time with his friends, and I support his passions and part-take in his hobbies. But maybe these actions aren't how I truly want to act (I want him to spend more time with me, to only have eyes for me, to PROVE how much he likes me in return).

The guys do it too. All the little things to "woo" you: the gestures, surprise kisses, walks holding hands, and fun date nights. (When really, his buddy's are at a game he could be at, he'd never normally skip the gym, and would much rather be eating chips and watching an action movie). Are we all just acting?

The author talks about the times when things start going wrong (end of the honeymoon period) that's when you finally start acting like yourself. But (MIND BLOWN) the other person doesn't really know the real you, and maybe they don't necessarily LIKE who YOU are. They want the  person you were pretending to be; that's the person they "fell for".

Well shit, I think this is spot on! I totally think this is the way it works! And you know what, it sucks. It sucks that this is the way things are. That you get people to fall for a lie, and then by proxy have to keep that lie up order to keep that person around. Maybe that person IS better. The non-jealous, non-dramatic, encouraging, selfless you.

So now I wanna ask all my friends in happy relationships to give me their two cents. Please tell me that there is a happily ever after that includes less pretending and more accepting (and keep in mind that accepting and conforming/settling are two different things)

An overdue update

Hello internet world. What could I tell you? I was going insane at my corporate job in Canada. The 50 hour work weeks for no money and too must stress wasn't really doing it for me. Plus, I wanted to be self sufficient... live alone and stuff. Well, I couldn't afford it on my "assistant" corporate salary, and after trying for about a year, I decided that I just needed more than one job.

Fastforward to that time I hadn't slept for weeks straight (actually, I was working 110hour weeks and commuting in between) got to the epitamy of physically ill (my body's only way of rebelling at that point, cuz sleep wasn't happening) and ended up in the hospital. Time for a vacation I thought.

I set off to Ireland for three weeks to drink with the Irish, and a few weeks later, ended up living in Australia!

"She must've gotten really drunk" is what you must be thinking, but nope. While trying to figure out a way to not have to return to my stressful "everyday" existence, it was pointed out to me some age restrictions for working abroad, and when push came to shove, I ditched my "everyday" and moved along.

So in other news, that last post I wrote makes me laugh a bunch. To remember how things used to be and not being ready to make the decision, to it being made for me in the long run, and now me loving my everyday.

I have a travel blog with my stories as well, but this one... well on here, I'm just gonna write about a lot of sex-related stuff. Hope everyone's cool with that :)