Hey - I'm a Romantic!

The definition of romantic, according to AnnaB! is simply that... of holding hands. Sweet, and easy. But hold hands the proper way boys and girls: palms together, fingers intertwined. None of this mitten-type hand holding when your fingers touch each other instead of your beau's. Any time two people hold hands, it SHOULD be considered romantic. 

I brought this up at a New Years Party to some random people I didn't know, and stirred up a bit of a rucckas. One girl thought my theory was bullshit because when she tried to hold her boys hand, it would last 30 seconds and then he'd pull away. Naturally, I'd wanted to give the girl the 'he's just not that into you' speech, but what do I know?... so I went on to explain: 'It's not the length that matters, it's the technique (I know... - as if we all haven't heard that one before *rolls eyes*)  and when she demonstrated how they held hands, it WAS in fact, ROMANTIC. 

So, you ask, 'if I'm giving it to her from behind, but holding her hand like that...' -yup,  it's romantic. 

'And if I finish and it goes up her nose...?'  -yup, still romantic. 

'And if I have my hands clasped like that over the back of  her head when I'm...',  WHOA, if your're holding your own hand romantically, that may count as only romantic to you. Let's not get the two confused. Everyone got it?

Alright: time to go through the motions: 

AnnaB Gives Bullshit Relationship Advice, A Topic She Know Nothing About

Step One: Getting Her Attention

How should you go about getting out of the friend zone with that pretty, shy, girl next door? Simple! Hold her hand. A girl usually reacts one of two ways: 1. she' s thrown off by it and pulls away (in which case boys, give up while you can, you're perma-friend-zone'd) or 2. she could be thrown off by it but allow it to continue, in which case, if you strategize how to get her bra off with the other hand, you'll be golden! *sidenote* Girls with attitude will test you when you go for their hand 'umm why are you holding my hand?' is a pretty straight-forwardly-common question. This does NOT MEAN 'stop holding my hand', it's just a test to see how you answer. The best way is the truth:  Tell them that is your BEST MOVE... OR tell them AnnaB told you to do it (I need more hits on this blog)

 

Step Two: Woo'ing Her

You got a date? Congratulations! Taking her to a Movie? How original! Need to make a move? Simple! Hold her hand. One of the best places to hold hands is at the movies. No one looks at you as if you're cheesy, cuz it's dark. You get to play with each others fingers and draw hearts in each others palms. But you're nervous about just reaching over? Wait until she grabs some popcorn, then meet her hand inside the bucket. Holding hands in popcorn is uber romantic. Your fingers intertwined in that buttery goodness, all slimey making your heart skip a beat! 

AND THEN, if you're really romantic - you could lick each others butter glistened fingers. Not in the sloppy 'I'm eating chicken wings' kinda way, but more like the way they do in porn, you know? Hold the  persons hand with both your own, choosing that one finger, then looking them romantically in the eyes and licking it super slow... and them swallowing hard? AND, once you're finished licking them, you could go back to hand holding. :)

I've been pretty adamant about this hand holding business the last month or so, and I stick by it. And when I think back, all the boys I tend to like...

 yup,.. they've held my hand.